The pandemic of 2020 is providing huge challenges for lots of families with aged parents/grandparents. The lock-down at senior care homes do protect them physically as the number of deaths in seniors long-term care slowed down. However, it is still hard on the seniors emotionally because face-to-face chit-chat (even of nothing), hand holding and hugs do mean A LOT to their complete well being. My dad is lucky in that he managed to learn how to type an email thru a tablet during the lock-down. He is starting to write to us and his friends again.

My dad is 98. He is physically weak and moves around in a wheel-chair but he knows exactly what he wants and clear in his head. However, he cannot hear too well anymore. So when me and my sister visit him (from outside his window), he is only half-guessing what we are saying. He is really bad at guessing hand-signals. I swear I won’t have him as my partner playing charade. I taught him how to read lips last September and that helped a lot. However, with the pandemic, face mask is mandatory and so all that effort went down the drain. Right now, we use pen and paper to help but that extra effort takes away from the natural flow of a conversation. Even worse, it highlighted what he conceived as “his disability”. It frustrates me as well but just last week, it dawned on me that if he cannot hear well, why don’t I get him to talk instead. So the following is Week One as told by my father and edited by me..

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My grandfather is a military man but he is also well educated (能文能武). He is also a natural born salesman and has nerves of steel. This is what happened during the second World War during the invasion.

On the night of the invasion, everyone try to flee with their valuables to the mountains to hide from the enemy. In the mountains are lots of bandits who is trying to take advantage of the situation. My grandfather, with his 5 sons (my dad and his elder brother was in a different part of China at that time), got robbed 5 times already when he was stopped by the 6th gang. He told the leader of the gang “I really have nothing left, I got robbed 5 times already”. The leader said,”You must be lying. If you don’t give me everything, I will put a bullet through your head and kick you down the cliff”. My grandfather said, “I really have nothing but I have two last wishes before you kill me. You see my five sons over there, they are smart and strong. If you recruit them into your gang, they can be such a valuable resource and make your gang so much stronger and better.”. My grandfather continued, “If you can adopt my five kids and support them to get their education, they will be someone important and they will be grateful to you as their adopted father.”. The leader said, “Why aren’t you afraid of me? I can really put a bullet into your head and kick you off the mountain”. My grandfather said, “I am in the military and has many sneak previews of what death is like. What I have now is just bonus and I have no regrets if you can do the two wishes for me”. The leader thought it over and order his followers “Find some good clothing and shoes from our storage and give it to this family. Then put some money in xyz bank for the sons so that they can have assess to it for their education if they manage to stay alive after the war”. Then told my grandfather “Remember my name, I am Chiu San (趙三)”.

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I am not responsible for any errors or omissions but this is as told by my dad and he swears by it. 🙂