At the start of the year, my dad wants me to share this video on his blog. Of course, being the son and not understanding why this is something about him, I procrastinated and eventually forgot about it.

This last month, after his fall and heart attacked, he has been admitted to firstly a hospital for acute care, then another hospital for non-acute care and then lately to a rehab care center, I understand more what this meant to him. When you are home-bound most of the time because of the physical limitations (i.e. risk of falling, need to use cane or walker, not being able to stand totally upright, cost of travel insurance, etc), your need and desire to venture out grow stronger. The following video, though old and lengthy, reflects that wish for himself to feel boundless and free again.

This is what he wrote to express his emotions:

A lot of you may be very busy with your career, with everyday life. Most of you have parents that are still strong but you are noticing the steady decline. Do encourage them to do exercises that strengthen not only their body but variety so that their brain also get the appropriate stimulation. Do take some fall PREPARATION classes as that can never be 100% prevented. Do get them to do things they like to do or travel if that is in their blood. You simply cannot take life for granted.

I wrote this on behalf of my dad. Typing using a keyboard gets to be too hard as he has osteoporosis and with a back that can no longer straighten out. Furthermore, he just recently had a fall and a heart attack and is still going through rehab at the hospital.

***************
During military training, there was one guy who is at least a head taller and very strong. He can easily grab a huge boulder that is too heavy for anyone else to move, walk and place it wherever he wants to use as a seat. He likes bullying people around and while others are afraid of him, I just ignored him.

One evening, I was stitching up the holes in my socks under the light of a lantern. Unannounced and without a word, this fellow came and snatched the lantern away from me. I was very angry but I held back and said “hey, wait a sec, I am not done yet. I cannot finish repairing my socks without the light.” The guy just couldn’t care less, and with the attitude of what can you do about it started to walk away. I couldn’t hold back anymore and grab and punched him in the jaw knocking him down. He tried to get up and then I hit him one more time, this time on the mouth and his front teeth fell off. Blood was splattering all over and others came to stop us.

***************

While the guy was whimpering away, others who saw it said “well, he deserve it.”. From then on, he is nicknamed as the “Little Tiger”.

Yes, he did win the fight but he also broke one of his fingers. With the medic at that time, it was never repaired properly and hence, he has a finger that he cannot bend for the rest of his life.

My dad usually deal with people with a smile. However, if you push him hard enough where he feels insulted, well, watch out! He is in his 90s but he still has a very clear mind and won’t be pushed around.

A simple act of kindness and patience can go a long way into making a moment magical. Here is my experience of “The lady, the nice man and the magic lamp”.

***************************************

The switch of my desk lamp went on strike for over a week, and I had no way of repairing it except to buy a new one.

I went to a Thrift Store – hoping to find an affordable and workable second hand one. I searched the whole store through, there was no lamp to be found. My heart sank!

I suddenly caught sight of a dust covered lamp hidden away in the corner of a shelf. When the dust was blown away, it looked tolerably decent. But the joy fizzles out upon testing it – the switch was just as dead as the one I had thrown away. The sales lady shook her head and said, “Too bad ! I’m Sorry !”. At that time, a fine robust guy with strong muscles and a kind face just happened to walk by. He looked at the lamp and said it might be possible for him to find a good switch from the barrels of junks lying around. He asked me to sit down and wait. He came back with a switch from an old broken lamp. Incredibly, it worked on testing. But he said he would need some tools to remove it and to replace it on the other lamp. The sales lady, much moved by this zealous man, said she would go upstairs to the store room to get the needed tools. After a while, she came back smiling and waved at us with an almost new lamp – an attractive beauty of a lamp ! It was flawless ! I asked timidly how much it’s going to cost me ! She looked at me and at the good man ?! Then, smiling sweetly again, she said, ” I’ll let you have it for the same price as marked on the lamp with the defective switch which was 5 dollars and fifty cents !!!

Incredible indeed ! Beyond doubt, this world of ours is good and is packed with warm kind people such as this gracious lady and this good man !

I asked and was told later that the sweet lady was the Manageress of the Store. And the good guy was an experienced hand at one of the local workshops !

The shark-faced nose art of the Flying Tigers remains among the most recognizable image of any individual combat aircraft or combat unit of World War II. (Picture was from wiki of the 3rd Squadron Hell’s Angels, Flying Tigers over China. photographed in 1942 by AVG pilot Robert T. Smith.)

Following are correspondences between me and Frances (my dear teacher and friend) which contained my personal knowledge and experiences during that period in World War II of battling, fighting for national and personal survival!

*********************** from Frances
I’m hoping you will feel like writing something of your knowledge about the Flying Tigers before the Americans took over in 1942. There seems to be nothing available and that’s a travesty IMHO!! Do you realize you are probably the only one left of that original group, to leave a message? No regrets allowed. A pencil and paper while in bed can sometimes do the trick. Poetry etc…..

*********************** from Bernie
Your sweet Understanding (forbearing, tolerating and forgiving me) did move me and brought my mind back to an unforgettable period of my life !

It was a time of the Pacific War at its hottest and a most critical moment of the National Life of China ! The Japanese were throwing out their last straw in their Invasion in China ! They were concentrating all their armed forces, surrounding the Chinese last defense line at the wartime Capital at Chung-King ! I was among one of those 100,000 Students Volunteers Army who threw down their books and took up their guns at the front lines of defense ! That was what put me in direct contact with the Flying Tigers, which were then reorganized and integrated into the Chinese National 14th Air Force with its Headquarters in Kunming! It was in Kunming where we had our defense training that I was picked to join the Air Force as a Second Lieutenant in the Reconnaissance Section ! Our combat missions were to closely observe and report the Japanese army movements behind the fire lines. Our reconnaissance planes had to fly low down to escape their radar screen! The risks we took were evidenced by the many bullet holes on the plane from the mad ground firing!

I was fortunate to have survived when the War ended with the total surrender of the Japanese in 1945 !

Here I must give credit and applause to Wikipedia for their very factual, and lively article on the Flying Tigers, with detailed records from its Origin to their combats and final victory in the Pacific War ! I’ve read it over and over again to reminisce over whatever it links up with my memories !

You asked me whether I recognize any familiar faces !? Of course there were ! And the most impressive and unforgettable ones were surely the Tiger face of General Claire Chennault and his very pretty Chinese war journalist wife ! I met them and saw them often at the Kunming Air Farce Headquarters ! And I did dance with his pretty wife at one of those Air Force Dance Parties !

That much is about all that I can recall in my personal knowledge with the Flying Tigers ! Together with the awe inspired unique Shark-faced teeth and nose of the Combat Plane as exhibited at the US Air Force Museum !

*********************** from Bernie

Your pleasant message gave me the same dear old feelings of being patted on the shoulders by our wartime boss General Chennault on his visits to our camp ! And tasted like those rare Caviar (one teaspoonful in a small wine glass) flown to us over the Hump (Mt Everest) from India, and served on our meal-tables on our return from a combat flight ! It was such a wonderful feeling and such a wonderful taste ! which were carved onto our hearts and retained for ever on the taste buds of our tongues !! And so are the consoling and flattering words in your message to me now !!

*********************** from Frances

But I AM SO CURIOUS…. what did it feel like to go zipping around those dastardly attackers* and return safely ?

I have read that because the Japanese were so isolated, insular…. they were conditioned to believe the “OUT THERE” world was filled with horrendous monsters who looked like people but in fact even ate children!! Maybe that helps explain the cruelty.

*********************** from Bernie

So, you are Curious to know the feeling I felt (including the feelings of all other fliers out there in that madness of a Sky – filled with death up and down and all around) when we returned safe to our Air Base ???!!!
The feelings, put in a nutshell, were like creeping out of the Mouth of a Killer Whale ! … … returning through the Fire of Hell !!

But, the most unforgettable feeling was not the joy of returning safe, returning with our aircraft not on fire in the tail or wings, or with the fuselage about to break up with severe damages … … This joy of touching down safely on the runway again was minimal when compared with the joy of seeing our Base Service Support Teams (technicians, fire wagons, ambulances, doctors and nursses ..) rushing up to us when our plane finally stopped and cabin doors swung open ! Their jumping joy, their big warm hugs, the tears running down their faces … … Those were the unforgettable Sights and Feelings which gave us New Courage to charge forward body and soul in all future battles to end this War and to bring peace back to our world !!!

After reading my story, dear frances, you may also wish to give me a big warm hug and congratulate me that I didn’t cracked up like Firecrackers in those horrible air battles !

*********************** from Bernie

Thank you dear frances for your tons of Caviar for me and my fellow fliers ! We appreciate and we love your sharing our bitter and sweet memories of the last WAR, in which we had made our
tiny contributions to end the gun smokes and to bring back peace to the world. Even now, as I gazed and gazed at the big blue Sky, I could still see with teary eyes those horrible sights of our planes exploding in mid-air amid those clouds of merciless thundering blinding gun fire. Peace truly had not come easy !

Centuries-old Chinese Wedding Rite

1. This is a picture of a pair of porcelain figurines – a rare piece of cultural antique, giving a vivid glimpse into the past of our Chinese culture in wedding rites, a vivid glimpse of a proud bridegroom and a shy bride on their wedding
   night (洞 房 花 烛 夜）。

2. This picture is only a winding up night scene after a long day of ceremonial
   rites. It was quite a sight to view the daylong busy, noisy and joyous
   celebrations. The colorful decorations ! The fascinating lanterns !
   The wall hangings ! The great variety of fragrant flowers ! Everything
   so pleasing to the eye !

3. However, the most solemn and impressive ceremony took place in
   the evening just before the banqueting starts. All guests and relatives
   gathered at the ceremonial hall, witnessing the sacred vows of the
   bridegroom and the bride. They make the deep bows on their knees
   – first thanking the Heaven, then the Earth, then the parents of both
   families ( 拜 天 拜地 拜高堂 ）！The fire crackers and the fire works
   were then set off outside, rocking the neighborhood ! Everybody then
   moved out to the banqueting hall, feasting with the finest of food and
   wine ! Winding up the night is the beautiful scene you see in the
   picture !

4. Look at the picture you will see the bridegroom and his bride were standing
   a little distance apart. Look closer in the picture, you will notice that the bridegroom was holding one end of a red silk ribbon and the bride holding the other end – this is the way the bridegroom leads his bide into their bridal chamber. They were not permitted to touch each other (even their hands) until after entering their honeymoon chamber which is brightly and romantically lit by floral candles.

5. This strange wedding ceremony fully demonstrates the centuries old Chinese
   belief in a perfect union of body and soul in a marriage. It is the offering of a
   “Love” in its purest form, a love preserved in its totality, a love for keeping for
   all the years of one’s life, a love for all the eternity to come.

6. This pair of porcelain figurines represent not only a cultural antique, but is
   also a piece of work of art in Chinese pottery. Look closer at the figurines,
   you will discover the vivid gestures of supreme pride in the smile of the bridegroom, and the girlish shyness of the bride with her all-too-obvious secret joy on her face. Another closer look will reveal their exquisite wedding costumes in silk, embroidered in gold, and in colors and styles undreamed of by us today.

7. There is a lot more for you to discover from your own different cultural or
   artistic angles of view.

8. My deep gratitude and love to my son Mario who is my editor and
   publisher, and who encourages me to write more for our readers to
   muse and to ponder !?

All the pictures were destroyed during the Second World War – furniture, books, photos and other records were all taken out from the house, piled up in the yard and then burnt. The following was the only picture I have of my parents. On the left is my dad – Abraham. On the right is my mom with sister#2 and brother #5.

Other available articles on the internet:

• Biography in Chinese
• Wiki in Chinese

THE THIRD VISIT

* The President wanted my dad to say `Yes`  *

In his endeavor to place his dream baby, the Academy, in the loving care of someone who loved it as much as he did,  the President made his 3rd visit to my dad in the evening after the closed meeting.  Again it was a surprise visit, more surprising than before because it was early before supper time.  He came in saying he couldn’t eat his supper until he saw my dad nodded and said ‘Yes’. Not knowing what was on the President’s mind,  my dad and mom looked at him with bewildered eyes ???   That was exactly what the humorous President wanted, big big question marks in their eyes !!!  When dad and mom were told what it was all about, they all broke out in a hilarious laughter. My mom and dad invited the President to join them in their family supper which he joyfully acceded.  

When supper was over and the party seated comfortably in the living room,  the President confided to my dad the results of the closed meeting – opinions were tied. It was really not easy to make a choice between my dad and Chang – each with as many pros and cons as the other. The preliminary balloting was equally divided.  It was expected that the formal voting at the coming Ministerial Meeting would turn out to be the same. The President, chairing the Meeting, would be asked to cast his final deciding vote.   He said confidentially that he would give his vote to dad, and he wanted him to say “Yes”.  

My dad thanked the President for his gracious friendship and trust. However, my dad said that the president’s deciding vote would cause resentment from Chang’s supports and would risk dividing the country and hence China’s stability and progress. If my dad voluntarily abdicate from the race, therefore a ‘No’, it would ease off tensions between the supporters of the two candidates.   My dad was adamant in putting the ‘country’ before any other considerations. Regrettably, he had to say ‘No’ rather than ‘Yes’ in this case.     My dad went on to say that the Academy was just as much his dream baby, and that he would do all he could to provide the peace and security for the Academy to run smoothly and successfully, so as to bring forth many military leaders and heroes for the Republic.   He fully understood that whoever it was to be the Head of the Academy would be the one holding the reins for the future of China.  He would willingly give away this chance rather than putting the country at risk.

*  My dad officially declined the nomination *

So it came to pass that my dad, at the final Ministerial Meeting, officially declined the nomination to be the Head of the Academy.  The post was therefore entrusted to Chang Kai-Shek.  And as predicted by the President, he became the one holding the reins to the fate of the country.  How good or how bad he had held these reins,  it is up to the Historians to comment.

*  An epilogue to the epilogue *

I couldn’t stop wondering what the impact would have been if my dad had decided otherwise ?!

This brings my stories to an end.  Hopefully my readers will find them interesting.

An Epilogue to the “Stories of my Mom & Dad”

In reminiscence over the events of my Mom and Dad,  there was one event concerning my Dad and Dr.Sun Yat-Sin which should not be overlooked.  It was an event which demonstrated a very touching Friendship and Trust which Dr. Sun had for my Dad  –  an event which might have a far reaching impact into the fate of the Republic of China.  This event was told to me by my Mom who was present at those visits from Dr.Sun.  She was deeply moved by his deep sincerity, openness, understanding, far sight and  immense love for the country and the people of China.  This narrative from my Mom adds more to the authenticity, credibility and excitement of the ‘Stories of my Mom and Dad’.   My Mom wanted all her children to know and to remember it as something worthy to be told  –  something reaching our hearts and souls.

BACKGROUND

* Who is who ? *

Dr, Sun Yat-Sin is well known as the Founder and the Father of the Republic of China.  He successfully led the revolution to overthrow the Imperial Qing Dynasty.    He was the First President of the New Born Republic.  In his Cabinet of Ministers, my Dad (Abraham Lam) was his Military Chief,  in command of all the armed forces of the Republic.

The names of Dr.Sun and Abraham were linked together throughout the revolution …  through bitter battles  … through life and death … through thick and thin … through sleepless days and sleepless nights.  Their names, in the minds of the Chinese people, were images of complete dedication, of continuing fearless sacrifices, and of relentless efforts to achieve the ‘Aim and Purpose’ of the revolution which is the ‘Freedom and Equality’ for the people of China  –   within the nation and among all other nations.

* When is when ? *

It was at a Ministerial Meeting at the Presidential Headquarters when an issue was brought up on the need to establish a Military   Academy to train cadet officers similar to the West Point Military Academy in the U.S.A.   The Need was unanimously agreed upon,  and subsequent motions of a suitable Site for the Academy and the allocation of Funds  were also discussed, voted on and passed.  There was, however, one issue remaining.  It was the appointment of an appropriate person to head this Academy. This required much more elaboration and deeper consideration before a decision could be made.  It was deferred for further discussion at the next session of Ministerial Meeting.   There were two obvious candidates from among others on the list.  One was Abraham Lam who was the current Commander-in-Chief of all armed forces, and the other one was Chang Kai-Shek who had just returned from Japan after completing his training with outstanding credits at the Japanese Military Academy, and who was serving as a member of the Staff Committee under the President.  The choice between the two is a very sensitive one .

* Why is why? *

Why is the choice so sensitive and important ?  To understand why, it is necessary to understand the very touchy political and military situations at that particular period when the New Born Republic was still in its cradle.  There were multiple reactionary Warlords who outwardly pledged their loyalty to the Republic, but who inwardly were opposed to progress and reforms.  There were then dominant insurgents lurking in wait to break up the republic.  The whole situation is therefor like a Chessboard with all the playing pieces of both sides tensely hooked up  –  any false move of one piece would mean the losing of the whole game.

* 1ST VISIT FROM DR. SUN YAT-SEN *

* The President in his jovial chatting mood *

It was in an evening in Mid-Autumn when the sky was tinted with glorious colorful sun-set clouds,  and trees and plants were yellow and red and gold.  It was an ideal evening for a stroll in the cool evening breeze to blend oneself with the soothing and cheering ‘Mother Nature’ –  Dr.Sun, the President was one of those strollers.  There was a ‘ ‘ ‘Knock, Knock’ at the door of the home of my dad and mom.  The President entered apologizing for his unannounced visit.

Seated down with the warmest welcome from my dad and mom, and being offered with a cup of hot herbal tea,  the President opened up his heart.  Like in his own home and family,  he chatted  –  chatting   with the ease, joy and humor he was well known.  The three, (President, dad and mom) began their chat with anything that came to their mind.   Their talk covered a lengthy period of past, present and future.  Their talk carried on until late in the night,  unwilling to stop.   At one point in the midst of their talk over some of the mistakes they made, though sensible at the time, but were very foolish and laughable.

While the President and my  dad were still pointing their fingers and laughing at each other, my mom put in a very playful question to the President, asking ” Were you ever scared during those fearful battles ?   The President replied, in his usual humor, that he would be the biggest Liar in the world if he said ” No ! “.   He said that in each and everyone of those battles, his mind was so busily and fully occupied with the need to adopt different tactics to meet the ever changing battle conditions, that there was no room in his mind for fears.  But, when the battle died down and the gun smoke cleared away ……   with no more enemies in sight,  his shirts and pants were soaking wet with either sweat or urine, or both!   At those words, the threesome were truly hilarious!

At another point when the talk turned to current events, my mom asked the President for his views on China, nationally and internationally ?!   The President said that all the nations of the world were watching closely with interest and curiosity how the young Republic was faring.  He was happy that the steady and very obvious progress we made had amazed them and had won their acclaim and support.  Agriculturally we had improved our irrigation system and had turned much arid land into crop producing fields.  Loans were made to farmers to obtain modern machinery to enhance better farming.  Communication-wise, new road and railway networks were quickly setup, with a quicker cargo flow and man flow. Commerce  was stepped up with more ease and bigger profit.  Educationally,  better staffed and better equipped schools sprang up in cities, towns and villages. Enthusiastic and dedicated teachers came by the hundreds. from overseas.  International relationships were improved by leaps and bounds.   Extensive plans of student exchange were being implemented.  They included scholarships for advance studies, in literature, music, arts, … in practically all fields of learning.  Expert consultants came in from England, France, Germany and Russia … experts in hydro-electronics, in water dam construction, in engineering .. experts in science, commerce and   industries.   In short,  China was hitting milestones after milestones in amazing speed.  The outlook for China is indeed glowing with hope.

With this glowing hope,  mom realized it was time to bring in some refreshments for the party.   She set up a table with some roast pork and chicken, some vegetarian delicacies, some specially roasted peanuts, some fruits, and of course a bottle of Chinese wine. While the party were eating merrily and the conversation turned to more casual talks,  the Clock struck 2 am which was really late in the night  and was time to take the President home.  Very reluctantly the party ended.  My dad personally escorted the President to get home safely.  The night was peaceful and calm !  The sky was starry and bright !   It was a night warm and unforgettable as an Autumn night could be !

An Epilogue to the “Stories of my Mom & Dad”

In reminiscence over the events of my Mom and Dad,  there was one event concerning Dr.Sun Yat-Sin, the Founder and the Father of the Republic of China, and my dad that should be remembered and cherished.  It was an event which demonstrated a very touching Friendship and Trust which Dr. Sun had for my Dad  –  an event which might have a far reaching impact into the fate of the Republic of China.

This event was told to me by my Mom who was present at those visits from Dr.Sun.  She was deeply moved by his deep sincerity, openness, understanding, far sight and  immense love for the country and the people of China.

The next blog will be a narrative from my Mom about the visit(s) which adds to the authenticity, credibility and excitement of the ‘Stories of my Mom and Dad’.   My Mom wanted all her children to know and to remember it as something worthy to be told  –  something reaching our hearts and souls.

(my sister 七家姊)

She is now resting in peace and happiness
in the Lord’s home in Heaven.
She has taken a long long journey on earth of 88 years,
with love to share in abundance.
She has climbed many mountains, forded many streams,
following her dreams.

It will be too long a story to tell, re-capturing those years one by one.
And it will be sad to hear again those days of tears and fears,
in the midst of war and roaring guns.
with homes completely shattered
by Japanese merciless bombs and cannons.
So, in this short eulogy of my sister Lam Fun,
we will only recall those times when Life was smiling on her
with days filled with songs, dance and fun.

First in her teens.
Let us then start with those golden years when she was in her teens,
when every young girl’s heart was dreaming of her prince,
and of sitting on top of happiness and becoming a Queen.
Truly, in her young days, she was pretty, lively and charming,
very much admired by people around her, and
very much envied by other girls of her age.
Yes, she was a little queen in the eyes of our parents;
and, in the hearts of her brothers and sisters,
she was even a little bit more than a queen.
She was more like a star shining, beautiful and bright,
in the darkness of nights.
she was a little bird singing way up high.

War broke out.
But then, just when she was completing her grades at school,
and was on her way entering university, The Japanese Invasion started and took all her dreams away.
She was however not frightened by all the horrors on the way.
Instead, the killing and miseries before her eyes, fired up her
patriotism and courage, and made her spirits soar.
She joined the youth army and was marching forward
shoulder to shoulder in the national defense against
the Japanese invading forces.

War is over.
At the surrender of the Japanese, her military services also end, and
she joined the government in civil services.
She built an image of a good civil servant
by her hard work and willingness to serve.
.

Return to Hongkong.
Retired from her public services, she returned to Hongkong,
settled down, got married
and had a fine family of her own,
happy with a loving husband, and
proud of a pretty clever daughter
very much like herself.

Immigration into Canada.
The most rewarding part of her life came
when she immigrated into Canada,
living in the garden city of Vancouver,
where skies are blue, and flowers
blooming everywhere.
The most fascinating moments were visiting
the numerous lakes and parks
shimmering and shining
like jade and gold.
The most joyful times were picking apples and
gathering berries, from trees and fields,
with her own face beaming red, and
her lips smiling sweet as the berries.

So, with all her smiles, let me end
my eulogy of my sister Fun
with Praises to God blessing her in Heaven
with loving memories of
her courage and her fun.

By Bernie Lam